Reflections to Support you in 

Loving Yourself + Your Relationships

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Thoughts from an NVC-Based Therapist

Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2017 

An editor at PsychCentral.com recently interviewed me for an article she wrote called, The Truth About Self-Compassion. She asked me, "What do you wish people really understood about self-compassion?" Here is my response.


I wish people really understood that self-compassion is fundamentally about caring about yourself. It’s about treating yourself like you would your best friend: with kindness, attention, love, and responsiveness. It’s saying to yourself, “I’m here for you. I care about you and I want to support you.”


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Posted on Thursday, February 09, 2017 

Here’s what I think: There is a serious lack of listening going on in our world. Would you agree? 


I’m pretty confident that if humans were listening more, we wouldn’t still be using bombs and guns to try to solve our conflicts. I’m pretty sure that if we were listening more, we wouldn’t be spending so much time fighting wars, big and small, external and internal. I truly believe that if we were listening more, we’d have more peace.


I’m not just talking about world peace. While I long for that and do believe it’s possible, I’d like to focus on something less abstract and more manageable here. I’m interested in you, as you are, finding more peace in your life, as it is, right now.


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Posted on Saturday, November 17, 2018 

I hear it all the time. People starting to share that they're not feeling so great, that they're struggling, having a hard time. And then - boom - they switch gears.


"But other people have it much worse, so I shouldn't complain."


If it's a therapy client of mine saying this, I'll often say something like, "This is your therapy hour. You get to complain all you want!"


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Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2016 

As I sit at my desk in California, awaiting the trick-or-treaters, an e-mail my sister just sent me is reverberating through my mind. She wrote from New York, "No power. No school. Halloween postponed 'til next Friday."


I picture my little niece and nephew all dressed up in their adorable costumes, having to wait over a week to celebrate one of their favorite holidays.


As the Buddha taught, sometimes life really sucks.


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An ongoing series of informational entries

Posted on Thursday, August 11, 2016

Yesterday it hit me that there really is one thing I believe is the key to better relationships, so I wanted to share it with you immediately. I hope it leads to more moments of connection for you!


If you want to improve your relationships, stop making other people responsible for your feelings.


That’s it. That’s the key.


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An ongoing series of informational entries

Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2016 

I was recently featured in an article on PsychCentral about the differences between self-compassion and so-called "self-indulgence." Here is the article, written by Margarita Tartakovsky. 


Why Self-Compassion Isn't Self-Indulgent

by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.


So many of us think that self-compassion is the same as self-indulgence. That is, we think that self-compassion means sitting on the couch and zoning out while we watch TV. For hours and hours. We think self-compassion means shirking our responsibilities. We think it means buying things we can’t afford because we simply want them. We think it means being solely ruled by short-term pleasure, letting self-gratification dictate our actions.


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